February 11, 2007

 

It’s All About Relationships (Part 5)

“Common Goals”

 

          It is said that “opposites attract”. I agree. After nearly 20 years of offering premarital counseling, I can affirm that many “opposites” have attracted each other. Whether we are talking about dating relationships or friendships, there is indeed a natural draw to persons different than ourselves.

          Perhaps the best way to describe this dynamic is to consider the account of our creation from Genesis 2, where God first created Adam. And as you remember, as “perfect” as God created everything, something was still “missing” in Adam... something referred to in Genesis 2:20 as a “suitable helper”... or better translated, a “helpmate”. The man’s “helpmate” would be “wo-man”. And similar to the English nouns of “man” and “woman”, in the Hebrew language the two names likewise have a similar sound. For while “opposites attract”, especially initially, those things we hold in common keep us together. After all, while wo-man provided something lacking in man, man’s “celebration” was not so much for their differences, but their commonalities:

 

"This is now bone of my bones
       and flesh of my flesh; (Genesis 2:23a) ....Adam cried out!

 

          Help me to communicate this more clearly. If you are married, or were married think for a moment about the first time you met your spouse. If you’re not married, think about the first time you met a best friend. Got that imagine in mind? As you think about the first time you met this special person, ask yourself what it was about him/her that attracted you to them.

          If my theory is correct; that it is generally true that “opposites attract”, I would guess that what initially attracted you to that person was that that person was in some way different than you. You see, as we mature we not only get to know our strengths, but our weaknesses as well. As we grow up and, in our culture, go off to school and eventually enter the job market, we become like Adam who become aware of who he was, and who he was not. Sometimes the reality of our limitations is crippling if we believe that we must be complete in all ways. But, if we are freed from this unrealistic goal; that we can somehow be whole and complete in and of ourselves, we can learn to love who we are, and to appreciate (and even look for) in others that which we ourselves lack.

          So what was it that attracted you to your husband/wife/friend? Chances are, he or she was resilient where you were fragile. He or she became a “helpmate” to you because they “filled in the gap” and gave you something you lacked, something you yearned for. And, in that way “opposites attracted”.  

          Now I believe that what we can say about human relationships,  also informs our relationship with God. As Augustine is well known to have said;

Our hearts were made for You, O Lord,

and they are restless until they rest in you.

 

Like that “helpmate” whose strengths compliment our weaknesses, human beings need God to experience wholeness; to find rest for our yearning hearts. And we are attracted to this God who has revealed Himself as Father, Son & Holy Spirit when we become aware of our human limitations;

-         when our strength fails,

-         when our wisdom falls short,

-         when our personal goals flop.

-         when we realize that our days are numbered here on earth.

 

          We are attracted to Almighty God, Eternal God, full of wisdom, and full of perfect guidance when we accept our weaknesses. But, the opposite is also true. For in the blindness of self-sufficiency, others will not feel a need for this God who stands ready to supply what they lack.

          There is a natural attraction to God among those who know themselves insufficient. Opposites attract, but as I said earlier, ... while “opposites attract”, those things we hold in common keep us together. And for the Christian, we are bonded to one another, and we are connected with God through Jesus Christ; God incarnate in human flesh, and by His Spirit that continues to live in us.

          And we heard God’s Word earlier:

 

Philippians 2:1-2

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.

 

This morning as we come to the fifth of six elements which can make our relationship with one another and our relationship with God stronger, I want us to consider our common goals. I want us to acknowledge that even as we might have been drawn into relationship with one another and with God because of personal needs being fulfilled, what holds us together is the sharing of common goals; goals which can be best summarized by saying: “We are walking together in the ways of Jesus Christ.”

 

Let me quickly flesh this out.

 

1. “Walking” implies movement.

          A common goal that keeps us together as a family of faith is that we, like Jesus, reach out to others.

          One of the great temptations we face in 2007 is to sit here and wait for people to come to us. But as I told the Metrowest reporter a couple Sunday’s ago (and to my surprise she quoted me pretty accurately) “I do not believe in ‘build it and they will come’ (a philosophy expressed in the movie “Field of Dream”). Rather, I believe that if we build it they will stay.”

          We are a loving family of faith. When that love reaches out and touches lives, those lives come for a visit and most stay. In the past our facility made it hard for people to stay, especially as numbers swelled. But this is not something new. Others, with longer track-records than I in this church, have noted that this has been a repeating pattern for this congregation since it moved to Hopkinton. Growth, setback. Growth, setback....

          But that setback factor has changed. As new friends come and join with us, gifts and talents now have the physical room to grow through exciting new ministries. But all those new ministries must share the common goal with our present ministries of actively reaching out into our communities. When we read “The Great Commission” given by Jesus to His followers, we can’t avoid the action verb used by Jesus

 

Matthew 28:18

Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

 

This same movement outward is heard in Jesus words in Acts 1 where He speaks of the effect at the Holy Spirit will have upon his followers:

Acts 1:8

But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."

 

Like a rock thrown into a pond, the effects of that action are waves that roll outward, they “go”, they “walk”/”flow” until they hit the end of the water.

 

Even during His ministry on earth, Jesus was always reaching out to others... often despite the anger of the religious leaders who did not approve of those he visited and ate with and associated with. Jesus was a unique Rabbi who sought out his own disciples rather than waiting for disciple-want-a-bees to come to Him. He then, as part of their training, sent disciples and followers out into neighboring villages to offer God’s peace, and to heal and to proclaim the good news of the Kingdom of God.

          In our generation when churches can easily adopt the identity of a “consumer church”, where people come in for a while to have a need met, we must share the common goals of being a “Missional Church”, a fellowship of believers who are out there, doing the work of God in their world everyday.

 

 

As we walk together in the ways of Jesus Christ, a common goal must be that we are always reaching out.

          Trust in God; that if we use this facility to reach out to our neighbors and to share a taste of the Kingdom of God, our neighbors will fill this facility and join us in ministry in Jesus’ name.

 

As “walking” implies an outward movement, another common goal that keeps us together is that

2. We walk in the ways of Jesus Christ.

          A preacher must be very careful here, as must all Christians, not to become legalistic in defining “the ways” of the One who came to “fulfill the law”. As the Apostle John wrote;

John 1:17

.... the law was given through Moses;

grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.

 

          When we walk in the ways of Jesus Christ, we are setting a common goal to be seekers after truth, and to be conveyers of God’s grace.

          I love the Covenant Church for many reasons, but perhaps the greatest is that from its inception, its few carefully-chosen structures have allowed both growth in truth and the exercise of grace. By defining the Church broadly as “a fellowship of believers” rather than by doctrinal detail; by trusting in the ministry of the Holy Spirit more than calculated programs, and by defining its life through the Holy Scriptures and not through religious tradition, the Covenant Church allows truth and grace to share a common stage. As is expressed in “Covenant Affirmations”, while talking about a unique freedom Covenanters share in Christ:

 

This freedom creates an ecclesiastical climate (a church environment) which allows for differences of opinion in matters of interpretation, doctrine, and practice within the context of biblical guidelines and historical Christianity.

We share a common goal of being a fellowship walking in the ways of Jesus...always seeking truth in God’s Word, and exercising grace as we encourage growth in Christian faith and action.

 

          This freedom which we exercise as we walk in the ways of Jesus Christ does not give us license to practice the individualism and the disregard for God’s Word so evident in our culture. So, sharing a common goal to walk in the ways of Jesus we must be careful of diluting the proclamation of God’s Kingdom by too closely affiliating with others promoting earthly Kingdoms. I have spoken enough of that lately, but let me point you to a passage which has often been used to offer guidance to Christians considering marriage, and yet the context speaks more strongly to Christian fellowships... and their affiliations with groups which do not share their common Christian goals.

 

2 Corinthians 6:14-15

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?

 

With a common goal of walking in the ways of Jesus, we must recognize that all we do is to be shaped by God’s Word. We are not to put ourselves in the position of being shaped by the world.

 

3. Finally, with the common goals of walking in the ways of Jesus Christ, we cannot help but stay together as we walk in love.

          In coming to fulfill the law of God, Jesus summarized the entire law by telling us to love God and to love our neighbor as ourselves (Luke 10:27). He also said to his disciples what is recorded in John 13:                                       John 13:34-35

 "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."

 

While we share a common goal to be “outward bound” in our thinking and our actions, we also have a powerful calling to live in loving relationships with one another in the fellowship of the Church. The truth is, either a church will grow as outsiders see the love shared within a church, or a church will quickly die despite the best outreach efforts if it fails to love one other in ways that cause us to die to ourselves and live for each other.

          This is a common goal we must work on everyday to stay together.

-         Whether we’re talking about relationships in the Church, as we care for and encourage each other,

-         Whether we’re talking about relationship with God that calls us to take up our cross and follow Jesus, or

-          Whether we’re talking about a relationship with our spouse or a friend.

If we walk in the ways of Jesus Christ, we walk in love.

 

          Opposites may attract, but that which we have in common keep relationships together. If a couple comes to me with love in their eyes for one another but have little in common, I warn them about a difficult future. For while their relationship may feel indestructible in its early phase, if commonalities fail to develop, the relationship will soon be over as their initial attraction fades, and their individualisms divide them from one another. And the same dynamic can and has happened in the Church.

          While there are other common goals we share which keep us together, today let us celebrate and recommit ourselves to walking in the ways of our Lord Jesus Christ:

-         by reach out to others with a taste of the Kingdom of God,

-         by always seeking truth in the Bible while living in grace toward others, and

-         by loving each other.

 

Let us join our hearts in prayer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scripture taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION (r).                              Copyright (c) 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.